Shoot Them Down
by DarkAgea
Summary: Roy should have known not to give Riza a dare. Especially a drunken carefree Riza. In which Riza sings her own version of a famous song and everybody learns that Riza can sing surprisingly well even when drunk. (Parody of 'Blank Space' by Taylor Swift)


**Disclaimer: FMA belongs to the amazing Hiromu Arakawa (who I am** _ **not**_ **), and Blank Space does not belong to me. This is only a parody of the song, written for non-profit purposes.**

 **A/N: Happy New Year, everybody! This one line from Blank Space convinced me I had to make an FMA Parody for it – "You're the king, baby, I'm your queen." And then this story formed around that parody. Try singing along with it if you want; some lines may not align perfectly, but I guess you can blame that on Riza's drunken state?**

* * *

 **Shoot Them Down**

* * *

"I bet you that you can't do it."

"Oh yeah!" Seeing a drunken Riza Hawkeye was amusing. It was a rare occasion, and Riza had only got drunk this time because it was New Year celebrations and everybody coaxed her.

"Yeah, I bet seven hundred cenz. Any song you want."

"You're on! Don't come crying when I win."

As Riza walked away, Roy explained their deal to Edward and Winry, who shook their heads but allowed Riza to take a song. The New Year party was headed by the two, along with Alphonse, and they had invited nearly everybody they knew. Barely months had passed since the Promised Day, and they had hoped a celebration might greatly increase the spirits of the people.

Riza stumbled onto the stage, looking through the songs they had and selecting the one that sounded the best to her. Taking the microphone, she started singing as the first verses of the song began.

* * *

 _Nice to meet you, what's your name?_

 _I'm Riza Hawkeye, and I'm your age_

 _Fire, madness, research, death_

 _Saw you here and I thought_

 _Oh my God, you are that child_

 _Can you handle Flame Alchemy?_

 _Protect us all from this threat_

 _x_

 _White cloak, ignition gloves_

 _I can read you like a magazine_

 _Ain't it sad, all these deaths_

 _And we can't do anything now_

 _So hey, work side-by-side_

 _I'll do my best to help this world_

 _Grab your gloves, stay with me_

 _I can kill the bad guys with just my guns_

 _x_

 _This war goes on forever_

 _Ishvalans drop so fast_

 _You can tell me when it's over_

 _If the orders were worth the pain_

 _Got a long list of officers_

 _They're gonna tear you down_

 _'Cause you're a smart alchemist_

 _And you've got the flames_

 _x_

 _'Cause Ed's young and he's reckless_

 _He'll be a State Alchemist_

 _He'll leave you smirking_

 _Or with an angry mood_

 _Got a long list of the people_

 _Who wanna kill you now_

 _But I've got your back, colonel_

 _And I'll shoot them down_

 _x_

 _Burning flesh, deep darkness_

 _I'll stop you if you stray too far_

 _Flying bullets, truths and lies_

 _You're the King, sir, I'm your Queen_

 _Do what you always do_

 _Keep reaching for that dream_

 _Wait, the worst is yet to come, oh no_

 _x_

 _Screaming, dying, inner plots_

 _We can make all the tables turn_

 _Homunculus all around_

 _Keep you second guessing like_

 _"Even Bradley's part of this?"_

 _You get filled with fury_

 _But I'll never leave your side_

 _'Cause, colonel, I'll walk in hell along with you_

 _x_

 _This war goes on forever_

 _Everything is down in flames_

 _You can tell me when it's over_

 _If the orders were worth the pain_

 _Got a long list of officers_

 _They're gonna tear you down_

 _'Cause you're a smart alchemist_

 _And you've got the flames_

 _x_

 _'Cause they're strong and powerful_

 _They'll split the unit now_

 _They'll leave you lonely_

 _Or just broken down_

 _Got a long list of officers_

 _They're want to tear you down_

 _But I've got your back, colonel_

 _And I'll shoot them down_

 _x_

 _They only want to kill for the power_

 _Won't stop no matter what, whatever happens_

 _They only want to kill for the power_

 _Won't stop no matter what, whatever happens_

 _x_

 _This war goes on forever_

 _Everything is down in flames_

 _You can tell me when it's over_

 _If the orders were worth the pain_

 _Got a long list of officers_

 _They're gonna tear you down_

 _'Cause you are a smart alchemist_

 _And you've got the flames_

 _x_

 _'Cause they're strong and powerful_

 _They'll split the unit now_

 _They'll leave you lonely_

 _Or just broken down_

 _Got a long list of officers_

 _They're gonna tear you down_

 _But I've got your back, colonel_

 _And I'll shoot them down_

* * *

Raucous applause greeted Riza as she finished, taking out her gun in a flourish and pointing it straight forward, finger on the trigger. Thankfully, she didn't shoot anyone.

Roy let out a breath he was holding. When Riza started singing, Roy got this horrible fear that she would start singing about the tattoo on her back, but luckily she stopped at the line of Flame Alchemy. That was easy enough to explain; after the Promised Day, almost everybody knew Roy and Riza had been childhood friends. It was in the way they had fought together, as if they had known each other all their lives, as if they were the halves of each others' souls.

He watched as Riza came to him, one hand on her hip and her other one outstretched. "Sir?"

Without a moment of hesitation, Roy handed over seven hundred cenz.

Riza gave a wide smile and walked away, and then paused, looking back and speaking with pride, "Don't you dare try to dare me again."

Roy looked at his team who was standing right next to him, snickering at what had just happened. "Worth. Every. Cenz."

* * *

"That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard," Edward said, shaking his head. "As close as we can get to an _'I love you'_ for those two."

"Brother!" Alphonse warned, looking around to make sure nobody had heard it. To even insinuate a romantic relationship between the two was dangerous, especially when surrounded by military personnel along with civilians.

"If you're judging quality, you don't have any room to talk. What was it you sang? 'When can we transmute again?' Seriously, alchemy freak?" Winry said, watching embarrassment creep on Edward's face.

"Shut up, gear head," he replied without any heat. "At least I did something, unlike you."

Alphonse tuned out the argument he knew was coming, instead looking at Lieutenant Hawkeye, who was engaged in an intense conversation with Rebecca Catalina.

He wondered when the Lieutenant and the Colonel were going to marry. This year, he hoped. Then Alphonse could win the jackpot prize in the longstanding bet of the military.

* * *

 **A/N: I tried to put a story in here; you can judge how successful I was. (looks at the clock) Three hours and forty minutes to 2017 here. Again, happy New Year, everybody!**


End file.
